Psicorubrica by Lara Ventisette,,it,"The newest computer in the world can only get worse,,it,thanks to its speed,,it,the most ancient problem in relations between human beings,,it,that of communication,,it,Who must communicate,,it,he will always find himself confronted with the usual problem,,it,what to say and how to say it ",,it,Bill Gates,,en,To communicate who we are in an effective way, it can be useful to know how human beings communicate in general,,it,Communication is a fascinating and complex world,,it.
"Self-esteem is the distance between the perceived self and the ideal self" William James
Humans begin to form pictures of themselves at a very early age, which depend both on their disposition, and by the ways in which this biological inclination is "shaped" as clay by the main reference figures. Self-esteem is mainly a self-evaluation process, concerning the degree of trust that we place in our value and in our abilities; but it is a dynamic and changeable process because it is influenced by the experiences we live, in relationship with other people and with the world, as well as with ourselves. Exists, infatti, a circular relationship between the evaluation we attribute to ourselves, the evaluation that others send us back and the sense of belonging to the world in which we live. The fact is that it is our sense of self-esteem that determines the way we behave and the choices we make in life. The greater the distance between the person we feel we are and the person we want to be, the greater the sense of frustration, the lower the self-esteem.
Our self-esteem derives from several factors, of nature:
- cognitive: the wealth of knowledge in our possession
- affective: our emotional skills
- social: the influences of the socio-cultural context to which we belong, but also the communication and relationship skills that we put into play within a group.
We can imagine Self-Esteem as the representative building of our person, with foundations, of supporting pillars that support it, of a precise structural shape, of a mix of materials that compose it. Since self-esteem is a constantly evolving process, subject to continuous adjustments of experience, each of us can call himself the engineer of his own building-person. assiduously, even without realizing it, we value our self-esteem building: its solidity, its beauty, its resistance, the level of harmony, the sense of majesty it conveys. We like it? Represents the person we would like to be? He will be able to withstand the earthquakes of life? He will know how to tolerate the resulting adjustments? These are just some of the questions that we cyclically ask ourselves in reference to the person we feel we are, to the resources that we seem to possess, to the value we attach to it, to the trust we place in our possibilities, to the feelings we have, on the path that separates us from the person we want to become.
And after asking the questions, we try to answer.
The global evaluation we make of our building-person is called Global Self-Esteem. But to animate us constantly is also a specific evaluation of the different parts that make up our building-person, in particular that relating to the four main pillars that support it: family, lavoro, relazioni, body perception. Nobody is born with high or low self-esteem, nor can we think of pursuing it voluntarily by deciding "at the table" who we want to be. Self-esteem is an effect of the challenges that we will be able to overcome in life, the resources that we will be able to unleash in the face of difficulties in order to overcome them, obstacles that we will be able to ride, transforming them into opportunities for improvement and development of our resilience.
In the next article I will tell you about the pillars of self-esteem and how to measure which and how many need a makeover.
Nel frattempo, if you want, try to draw your self-esteem building.
Lara Ventisette
